I'm starting to feel a lot more movement. She used to have two or three kicking episodes a day (morning, evening, and at about 4:00 am), but now she seems to be doing somersaults, backflips, twirls, and 45-yard punt attempts - nonstop. Last night she was kicking so hard that I dreamed she kicked a hole through my stomach and accidentally delivered herself. In my dream I was worried sick because I knew her chances of survival were very slim so early, but also I really liked her so I didn't want to put her back inside (which seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do in my dream). She had black hair and big blue eyes (like Tim's) in my dream. I think feeling her for the last few days, though at times uncomfortable, has also made me really excited to meet her in the flesh.
I've also started having Braxton Hicks contractions. The intertubes tell me that these are "usually" painless, but I think they feel like moderately painful menstrual cramps. When I told this to the midwife who examined me at my last appointment, she reassured me that I wasn't actually feeling any discomfort... hmmm. They happen five to ten times a day, usually when I'm quite tired or dehydrated. I'm not worried about them... I think.
In happy news, I haven't given any food back to the good earth for three days in a row. This is a record for me, and I hope a trend that will keep on trending. Tim and I are planning to drive across the country Friday, and it would be nice if it could be free of unpleasant episodes.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
22 weeks... and today has been okay.
Three things:
1) I felt good today. Really good. Almost like the old days.
2) Tim is not exactly an effusive person, which isn't to say that he doesn't get excited; it's only to say that he usually shows enthusiasm with a barely perceptible smile, or by slightly raising his eyebrows. He's very quiet about experiencing joy. I did, however, catch him smiling broadly during our ultrasound, and when the doctor told us we'd be expecting a girl. The other day, he wrapped his arms around me and said, "How's my girl?" I said, "I'm okay, a little tired..." and he said, "I didn't mean you... how's my other girl?"
The other day he went to Target to fetch a birthday present for his nephew. He came home with said presents, as well as a stuffed elephant that plays a lullaby and matching blanket for "his girl." I thought it was really cute that he picked out some gifts for her, completely independently from me.
3. I've been begging Tim to let Cami and/or Erin and/or Joanne take a couple pictures of us that we could send out in announcements or frame for the reception. He has been, really, truly, exceesively, adamantly opposed to this idea. He really hates having his photo taken. Today I begged one more time, and he agreed to sit through a ten-minute shoot at... wait for it... Sears (since we had to go to the mall anyway). I think he thought it would be shorter that way... but it was pure and undiluted agony. The waiting room was full of 50-60 screaming children dressed as angels and elves and such. Furthermore, the gal who took our photos seemed to think we were 14 years old and posing for our first prom dates. We finally had to request some conservative poses. She insisted on taking a couple "maternity" shots... which I didn't know existed. We were laughing in 100% of the photos she took, mostly due to the silliness of it all. This is the least silly of the maternity poses (Tim would kill me, really, if I posted the others):
1) I felt good today. Really good. Almost like the old days.
2) Tim is not exactly an effusive person, which isn't to say that he doesn't get excited; it's only to say that he usually shows enthusiasm with a barely perceptible smile, or by slightly raising his eyebrows. He's very quiet about experiencing joy. I did, however, catch him smiling broadly during our ultrasound, and when the doctor told us we'd be expecting a girl. The other day, he wrapped his arms around me and said, "How's my girl?" I said, "I'm okay, a little tired..." and he said, "I didn't mean you... how's my other girl?"
The other day he went to Target to fetch a birthday present for his nephew. He came home with said presents, as well as a stuffed elephant that plays a lullaby and matching blanket for "his girl." I thought it was really cute that he picked out some gifts for her, completely independently from me.
3. I've been begging Tim to let Cami and/or Erin and/or Joanne take a couple pictures of us that we could send out in announcements or frame for the reception. He has been, really, truly, exceesively, adamantly opposed to this idea. He really hates having his photo taken. Today I begged one more time, and he agreed to sit through a ten-minute shoot at... wait for it... Sears (since we had to go to the mall anyway). I think he thought it would be shorter that way... but it was pure and undiluted agony. The waiting room was full of 50-60 screaming children dressed as angels and elves and such. Furthermore, the gal who took our photos seemed to think we were 14 years old and posing for our first prom dates. We finally had to request some conservative poses. She insisted on taking a couple "maternity" shots... which I didn't know existed. We were laughing in 100% of the photos she took, mostly due to the silliness of it all. This is the least silly of the maternity poses (Tim would kill me, really, if I posted the others):
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
20 weeks, and really? Only half-way done?
In some ways I thought the 20-week mark would never come. But in other ways, I feel like I've been pregnant for about 3 years. I'm ready to have the baby now, as in today.
Her movements have gone from faintly perceptible flutters to sleep-preventing uterus poundings. Tim can finally feel her kicking (or punching, or maybe biting) from the outside, which is exciting (for him). I have lost my ability to sleep through the night, and getting up from a reclined position is painful (round ligaments, I'm told). The baby (which Tim has started referring to as Little Emma Hanley) kicked me all through a faculty meeting today, and distracted me from paying proper attention. As though I don't have trouble enough. 
So we (the parental units) have been throwing around names.
Tim's favorites: Emma, Emma Leigh, Emily, Emmaline.
My favorites: Clara, Jane, Lillian, Penny.
We've no earthly idea how to resolve this conflict, so it will probably come down to an arm wrestle. In which I get to use both hands and a pulley system.
Her movements have gone from faintly perceptible flutters to sleep-preventing uterus poundings. Tim can finally feel her kicking (or punching, or maybe biting) from the outside, which is exciting (for him). I have lost my ability to sleep through the night, and getting up from a reclined position is painful (round ligaments, I'm told). The baby (which Tim has started referring to as Little Emma Hanley) kicked me all through a faculty meeting today, and distracted me from paying proper attention. As though I don't have trouble enough.
So we (the parental units) have been throwing around names.Tim's favorites: Emma, Emma Leigh, Emily, Emmaline.
My favorites: Clara, Jane, Lillian, Penny.
We've no earthly idea how to resolve this conflict, so it will probably come down to an arm wrestle. In which I get to use both hands and a pulley system.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
18 weeks and the verdict is in:
This week we finally got to find out a bit more about the wee one that keeps me awake at night. We went in for our 18-week ultrasound and got to see the baby hanging out. It was lying at the bottom of my uterus sucking its thumb with its feet raised and crossed. The technician needed to get several shots of various organs from various angles, but the baby wouldn't budge - even after I rolled from side to side and did downward facing dog. The technician said she thought the baby was "probably not a boy" but couldn't get a good view of much. We had to go back two days later (to get better views of the spine and heart).This time (Thursday, November 12) we had a much more aggressive sonogram technician who jabbed my uterus (yeah... didn't feel that good) until the baby was in the needed positions. She showed us three lines that formed the labia and vaginal opening, so it's 90% official: the baby will now be refered to in the feminine tense. :)
The ultrasound was actually really stressful for me. I started crying when the technician was measuring various body parts to see if they were okay and was really worried that there would be problems. But everything was in normal ranges, and I teared up a couple times watching the cute little baby sitting there sucking its thumb. During the second ultrasound, we watched the baby tapping her foot against the placenta wall - it also was cute, as though she was just biding her time in the womb.
Tim didn't care if the baby was a boy or a girl, but was very happy when we saw the baby. I was secretly (well.. not that secretly) wanting a girl, but I would have been happy either way. Knowing the gender of the baby has made me more excited, and seeing her in the womb again was really neat.
Tim and I went out to dinner the other night, and we were talking about a time when we went to a museum with Erin. He had been really sad that day, and we talked about it a bit. He then said, "But... I'm much happier now." I asked him if he was happier than he was at the museum or if he was happier than he was during that time in general. He said, "Well... I'm happier than I've ever been in my life." We're both so excited for this baby girl!
17.5 weeks - Baby likes music!
November 6th, 2009
Tim and I went out for the first time in what seems like ages. First we went to the macaroni grill to celebrate Bryn's birthday. I thought it was so funny that the Macaroni Grill is her favorite restaurant - it's so adult.
After cake at Cami and Peter's, we went to a Patti Griffin / John Prine concert. Patty was good, but John Prine was awesome. He played some very raucous songs, and the baby moved all over the place. Since then, I've been playing the guitar while it rests on my belly, and without fail, the baby starts kicking and wiggling. Apparently it likes music! Today a Modest Mouse song came on the radio, and it seemed to enjoy (or hate... hard to say) that as well.
Tim and I went out for the first time in what seems like ages. First we went to the macaroni grill to celebrate Bryn's birthday. I thought it was so funny that the Macaroni Grill is her favorite restaurant - it's so adult.
After cake at Cami and Peter's, we went to a Patti Griffin / John Prine concert. Patty was good, but John Prine was awesome. He played some very raucous songs, and the baby moved all over the place. Since then, I've been playing the guitar while it rests on my belly, and without fail, the baby starts kicking and wiggling. Apparently it likes music! Today a Modest Mouse song came on the radio, and it seemed to enjoy (or hate... hard to say) that as well.
15.5 week scare
October 22, 2009
Dear sisters and mom,
Yesterday I was doing some experiments and had to go into the dark room for about a half hour to expose and develop some film. I sat down on a stool because I was feeling sick and really tired, and did a set of leg exercises because I got bored. When I stood up, I felt that my crotch area was soaking wet and there was a fair amount of liquid running down my legs. I of course thought I realized what was happening and prepared myself to deliver an orange-sized fetus. In the dark, because a week's worth of experiments were on the line, and turning on the light would have exposed all the film, yada yada... I'm embarassed how pragmatic I was in the situation. Well, I finally had a two minute break, and went outside into the light only to realize that my water had not, indeed, broken (is that even possible at this stage?), but that I had sat in a huge puddle of leaking film developer. Tim is pretty sure I and the baby will not be harmed by this mishap, though it might come out with 40 kilodalton bands on it's forehead.
In other news, I felt the baby squiggling and wiggling about last night for about a half hour. I liked that. At first, and then I needed to go to sleep, but the wiggling continued. I told Tim about it on the way to work, and he said, "That kid is going to be trouble." Cheers, hugs and such, and happy Thursday (the weekend is almost here!!!).
Laura
Response From Karen:
One time, when I was pregnant with Max, I fell backwards down a short flight of stairs at Albertson's. I fell so hard hard on my bum I thought for sure I had broken my water. Nope. I just wet my pants. Pregnancy is awesome like that.
Response from Cami:
Aren't you glad you didn't ruin your films by rushing out to panic! You deserve a lab Medal of Excellence, or at least your old desk back. That's amazing that you felt wiggling. You've always been very sensitive to your abdominal area (I mean really, who else can tell which side they're ovulating on!), so I'm not terribly surprised. I read all the books and they said that the first movements felt like bubbles popping or butterfly wings. Did you find that true? 'Cause mine felt more like war drums. In any case, we should have a little celebration. Karen- I can't believe you fell- you're always so graceful and steady. Did you go to the doctor to have them check to make sure it wasn't your water breaking? It does sound a little dangerous.
From Mom:
They are never dull days when you three email! Laura, you had me scared to death. I'm happy you were just sitting in film developer and nothing more serious. I am also impressed that little Baby is wiggling enough to be felt. That little miracle! I remember when Karen fell (many times, but particularly this time with Max). It was quite traumatic for a bit. Cami, drums?! I hope everyone has a calm day. And don't sit if you don't know what you're sitting in! And don't fall.Hugs and happiness to all, Mom
From me:
Karen: I like that story a lot. I've started wearing pads in case I fall down, sneeze, hiccup, or blink too hard.
Cami: Last night bubbles and butterfly wings, today war drums.
Mom: I learned my lesson, but I'm pretty sure I've learned that lesson before. One of these days it will stick!
Dear sisters and mom,
Yesterday I was doing some experiments and had to go into the dark room for about a half hour to expose and develop some film. I sat down on a stool because I was feeling sick and really tired, and did a set of leg exercises because I got bored. When I stood up, I felt that my crotch area was soaking wet and there was a fair amount of liquid running down my legs. I of course thought I realized what was happening and prepared myself to deliver an orange-sized fetus. In the dark, because a week's worth of experiments were on the line, and turning on the light would have exposed all the film, yada yada... I'm embarassed how pragmatic I was in the situation. Well, I finally had a two minute break, and went outside into the light only to realize that my water had not, indeed, broken (is that even possible at this stage?), but that I had sat in a huge puddle of leaking film developer. Tim is pretty sure I and the baby will not be harmed by this mishap, though it might come out with 40 kilodalton bands on it's forehead.
In other news, I felt the baby squiggling and wiggling about last night for about a half hour. I liked that. At first, and then I needed to go to sleep, but the wiggling continued. I told Tim about it on the way to work, and he said, "That kid is going to be trouble." Cheers, hugs and such, and happy Thursday (the weekend is almost here!!!).
Laura
Response From Karen:
One time, when I was pregnant with Max, I fell backwards down a short flight of stairs at Albertson's. I fell so hard hard on my bum I thought for sure I had broken my water. Nope. I just wet my pants. Pregnancy is awesome like that.
Response from Cami:
Aren't you glad you didn't ruin your films by rushing out to panic! You deserve a lab Medal of Excellence, or at least your old desk back. That's amazing that you felt wiggling. You've always been very sensitive to your abdominal area (I mean really, who else can tell which side they're ovulating on!), so I'm not terribly surprised. I read all the books and they said that the first movements felt like bubbles popping or butterfly wings. Did you find that true? 'Cause mine felt more like war drums. In any case, we should have a little celebration. Karen- I can't believe you fell- you're always so graceful and steady. Did you go to the doctor to have them check to make sure it wasn't your water breaking? It does sound a little dangerous.
From Mom:
They are never dull days when you three email! Laura, you had me scared to death. I'm happy you were just sitting in film developer and nothing more serious. I am also impressed that little Baby is wiggling enough to be felt. That little miracle! I remember when Karen fell (many times, but particularly this time with Max). It was quite traumatic for a bit. Cami, drums?! I hope everyone has a calm day. And don't sit if you don't know what you're sitting in! And don't fall.Hugs and happiness to all, Mom
From me:
Karen: I like that story a lot. I've started wearing pads in case I fall down, sneeze, hiccup, or blink too hard.
Cami: Last night bubbles and butterfly wings, today war drums.
Mom: I learned my lesson, but I'm pretty sure I've learned that lesson before. One of these days it will stick!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Live was I ere I saw eviL
I love symmetry. I love palindromes.
I can't stand it when paintings or clocks aren't straight or when figures or diagrams aren't centered. Perfectly. As in, I can't listen to a thing anybody is saying, even if it's "Run! The building is on fire and there's a gas leak!" until the situation is rectified.
It's a problem.
My belly is growing now, and it's obvious that I'm pregnant, especially since I've lost ~10 pounds from the rest of my person. The problem is that my belly button is way over on the right side of my abdomen. And my girls aren't the same size - the right is much larger.
How am I supposed to live like this?
I can't stand it when paintings or clocks aren't straight or when figures or diagrams aren't centered. Perfectly. As in, I can't listen to a thing anybody is saying, even if it's "Run! The building is on fire and there's a gas leak!" until the situation is rectified.
It's a problem.
My belly is growing now, and it's obvious that I'm pregnant, especially since I've lost ~10 pounds from the rest of my person. The problem is that my belly button is way over on the right side of my abdomen. And my girls aren't the same size - the right is much larger.
How am I supposed to live like this?
Monday, October 12, 2009
14 weeks, and all is well (in a universe I have no contact with, that is...)
Can I possibly be getting worse? Why, yes I can. In the good old days, I felt nausiated, but never vomited. Then I progressed to vomiting, but never more than twice a day, and never after 10:30 am or so. In the last 24 hours, I have vomited 8 (eight) times, and have a headache the size of Texas. Is this ever going to end? I think the half hot dog, apple juice, and 3-6 apples I ate yesterday at our apple-picking adventure wasn't the smartest idea ever. I've been sleeping semi-upright on my couch, because I've also recently been blessed with heartburn. Pregnancy is soooo amazing.
Friday, October 9, 2009
I love it soooooo mu-huh-huch....
This morning we had our first ultrasound. It was really exciting to see the baby wiggling about (actually quite a bit) in my womb. When I asked Tim (just now) what he thought of the experience, he said, "I liked it... I thought it was pretty exciting. And... I was kind of relieved that there was only one in there. I think I would have fainted had there been more than one." He was beaming during the ultrasound and clearly quite pleased about the situation. When I showed it to the girls at school, they shrieked appropriately, and Chadene insisted that it was "such a beautiful little fetus." Even Ewan joined in the oohing and aweing and said, "It's quite a special experience. When I saw my wee one on the screen, it brought a tear to me eye." I admit I got a little choked up.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Prevarications - 13.5 weeks
I don't really know what I'm doing
Just watching myself in some play
And the actress looks like she wants to go home
And lie in a bed all day
Yeah
Lie in a big bed all day.
~Pattiy Griffin
I was told by 2 books, dozens of webpages, and as many formerly afflicted mothers that at 12 weeks post-conception, I would be feeling significantly better. Significantly.
And yet, I am not.
Not at all.
Alas, I cannot complain too bitterly; my sisters told me I would not feel better after 12 weeks. I do seem to be eating slightly more (in terms of both quantity and variety), but I still feel nauseated 100% of the time. My coworkers have taken pity on me. Laure brought me plain quinoa a couple weeks ago; Wendy has twice given me her apple at lunch, and Steve brought me his wife's homemade corn and potato chowder for lunch today. And Greg (not known for being a particularly nice man) asks me how I'm feeling almost every day. These acts of kindness are ever-so-appreciated. As soon as I feel okay, I'm going to bring cookies for the department. I don't know how I'll repay Tim, however, who the other day went to three different grocery stores in search of banana ice cream popsicles. He has been unbelievably good and patient. Whenever I think of it (including now), I shed a few tears. I love him so much.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
More breaking news.
His mom: Telling Tim’s mom Michele about our news was easy. We went to her house and Tim said, “Mom, why don’t you sit down. We have something to tell you.” She said, “No,” and Tim said, “You’re going to want to sit down.” She said, “I don’t have to sit down… just say whatever you people have to say.”
Tim smiled and said, “We’re going to have a baby.” Michele’s facial expression didn’t change – not even slightly – and she said, “I know.” Tim asked her how she could possibly know, and she replied, “I just did.” We then went to dinner, and she solemnly said, “Okay, you people have to promise me one thing.” We looked at her wide-eyed, and she said, “You have to let me buy the crib. You can’t let anybody else, I get to.” Tim laughed and said that although it was a sacrifice not to be able to buy it ourselves (in a not-at-all kind of way), we would concede to allow her to purchase a crib. The truth is that it hadn’t registered with either of us that the baby would need, you know, things.
My parents: Tim and I went to Utah in August. I was really worried to tell my parents about the baby because they’ve been through a lot and I didn’t want to make their list of Life’s Most Disappointing Moments. Mike and Jill hosted a wave-running lake day at Jordan Reservoir, and my parents and Lance met us there.
Tim eventually found time to talk to my dad alone on the beach. Tim said, “I have a question I’d like to ask you. Laura and I have been talking about our future together. I’d like to marry your daughter, and I was wondering if that’s okay with you.” My dad said, “Well, Laura’s a good girl and has always been a good girl. You seem like a nice boy, so that sounds good.”
I approached them as they stood up, and my dad came and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek while he said, “Congratulations. You’ve always been my favorite daughter, other than Cami and Karen.” He motioned for my mother to join us. He told her that we were getting married, and she gave me a hug as well.
I told Tim to go help Jonathan throw rocks in the water so I could talk to my mom alone. She said, “Well… what’s next?” I said, “We’ll get married in December. And then… (insert tears) we’ll have a baby in April.” My mom started crying and said, “Are you happy?” and I said, “Very.” She hugged me again and said, “Then I’m happy, too. I like babies.”
We called my dad over, and I told him about the (ahem) development. He said, “That’s wonderful. Wait… does this mean you’ve been messing around?” I said, “Never.” He said, “Well, how did this happen?” and my mom said, “It’s a miracle!”
We then proceeded to tell the rest of our siblings. Lance was excited, and insisted that I tell his wife, “I’m having a bastard child.” I made him call Karen to make sure she wasn’t mad. He assured me she wasn’t mad that I was pregnant, so I agreed to speak to her. It turns out that she was indeed mad; not because of the baby, but because I didn’t tell her myself and didn’t trust her to be supportive and nonjudgmental. Fair enough. I made her tell Kim and Darin, and they were also extremely nice. All that worrying for nothing.
The following are excerpts from electronic communications I’ve exchanged with family and friends on the matter:
Mike: how did that happen?
me: I think from holding hands
Julie: Laura!! I AM SO HAPPY AND EXCITED FOR YOU! That is fantastic! I am thrilled!! I have to call you soon. I can't even handle email right now.
Aleigh: You'll be a great mom. And I'm glad you've given up caffeine.
(FYI, Aleigh consumes approximately 2-4 liters of Diet Coke per diem.)
Amy: Well, I don't know if this is an inappropriate joke or not, but Tim is pretty smart. :) I mean… way to hook you, right?
Kim: You are a wonderful person and will be a great mom and wife!
Melinda: As for having a baby that's great, If you are going to find out if you are having a boy or a girl, I want to know. Will that be in December? Please let me know. I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!! AND I STILL LOVE YOU. I hope everything is going well, Have you been sick? Are you doing ok? Even though I am a million miles away please let me know if there is anything that I can do for you.
Michelle: Don't worry about me telling people. My level of contact with people is mostly just following blogs.
Brianne: Laura! OMG! That is seriously the best news I've heard in a long time! Congratulations. :) (can you tell I'm just so excited for you??) Oh, your man is SO lucky to have you! Does he realize just how lucky he is?
Chadene: Ok, so I have to tell you. I'm so excited I could cry! :) I'm really happy for you and Tim, and I think you guys are going to make really fantastic parents. A baby is a blessing, and you are very lucky to get to share that blessing with someone you love very much. Your little announcement has made my whole week! I can't wait to give Tim a hug! ;)
Alex: OMG congratulations!!! How pregnant are you? Have you tried those new sal-sard-tines? they're saltines that come in sardine flavor, hmm...
Erin: I'm happy to help with anything you need even BEFORE the little kid comes around. This might include: nursery decorations, talking and shopping for adorable small clothes (or big fancy dresses). I want to make sure you know I'm available w/o trying to usurp Cami's God-given role as sister. Oh, and I stole another tampon.
Karen: I know you're sick. Not much to be done there. You'll feel better soon. Eat something every two hours. Good suggestions: Applesauce, Gingerale, crackers, toast, bananas, peaches, cantaloupe, watermelon, granola bars, scrambled eggs with no salt. I'm not sure why the first two are capitalized. I guess they are special.
Sarah: im totally fine with it, la! i will love you no matter what you do ! and im so happy for you. ur going to b one of the greatest moms ever and u dont deserve to be sick!
Tim smiled and said, “We’re going to have a baby.” Michele’s facial expression didn’t change – not even slightly – and she said, “I know.” Tim asked her how she could possibly know, and she replied, “I just did.” We then went to dinner, and she solemnly said, “Okay, you people have to promise me one thing.” We looked at her wide-eyed, and she said, “You have to let me buy the crib. You can’t let anybody else, I get to.” Tim laughed and said that although it was a sacrifice not to be able to buy it ourselves (in a not-at-all kind of way), we would concede to allow her to purchase a crib. The truth is that it hadn’t registered with either of us that the baby would need, you know, things.
My parents: Tim and I went to Utah in August. I was really worried to tell my parents about the baby because they’ve been through a lot and I didn’t want to make their list of Life’s Most Disappointing Moments. Mike and Jill hosted a wave-running lake day at Jordan Reservoir, and my parents and Lance met us there.
Tim eventually found time to talk to my dad alone on the beach. Tim said, “I have a question I’d like to ask you. Laura and I have been talking about our future together. I’d like to marry your daughter, and I was wondering if that’s okay with you.” My dad said, “Well, Laura’s a good girl and has always been a good girl. You seem like a nice boy, so that sounds good.”
I approached them as they stood up, and my dad came and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek while he said, “Congratulations. You’ve always been my favorite daughter, other than Cami and Karen.” He motioned for my mother to join us. He told her that we were getting married, and she gave me a hug as well.
I told Tim to go help Jonathan throw rocks in the water so I could talk to my mom alone. She said, “Well… what’s next?” I said, “We’ll get married in December. And then… (insert tears) we’ll have a baby in April.” My mom started crying and said, “Are you happy?” and I said, “Very.” She hugged me again and said, “Then I’m happy, too. I like babies.”
We called my dad over, and I told him about the (ahem) development. He said, “That’s wonderful. Wait… does this mean you’ve been messing around?” I said, “Never.” He said, “Well, how did this happen?” and my mom said, “It’s a miracle!”
We then proceeded to tell the rest of our siblings. Lance was excited, and insisted that I tell his wife, “I’m having a bastard child.” I made him call Karen to make sure she wasn’t mad. He assured me she wasn’t mad that I was pregnant, so I agreed to speak to her. It turns out that she was indeed mad; not because of the baby, but because I didn’t tell her myself and didn’t trust her to be supportive and nonjudgmental. Fair enough. I made her tell Kim and Darin, and they were also extremely nice. All that worrying for nothing.
The following are excerpts from electronic communications I’ve exchanged with family and friends on the matter:
Mike: how did that happen?
me: I think from holding hands
Julie: Laura!! I AM SO HAPPY AND EXCITED FOR YOU! That is fantastic! I am thrilled!! I have to call you soon. I can't even handle email right now.
Aleigh: You'll be a great mom. And I'm glad you've given up caffeine.
(FYI, Aleigh consumes approximately 2-4 liters of Diet Coke per diem.)
Amy: Well, I don't know if this is an inappropriate joke or not, but Tim is pretty smart. :) I mean… way to hook you, right?
Kim: You are a wonderful person and will be a great mom and wife!
Melinda: As for having a baby that's great, If you are going to find out if you are having a boy or a girl, I want to know. Will that be in December? Please let me know. I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!! AND I STILL LOVE YOU. I hope everything is going well, Have you been sick? Are you doing ok? Even though I am a million miles away please let me know if there is anything that I can do for you.
Michelle: Don't worry about me telling people. My level of contact with people is mostly just following blogs.
Brianne: Laura! OMG! That is seriously the best news I've heard in a long time! Congratulations. :) (can you tell I'm just so excited for you??) Oh, your man is SO lucky to have you! Does he realize just how lucky he is?
Chadene: Ok, so I have to tell you. I'm so excited I could cry! :) I'm really happy for you and Tim, and I think you guys are going to make really fantastic parents. A baby is a blessing, and you are very lucky to get to share that blessing with someone you love very much. Your little announcement has made my whole week! I can't wait to give Tim a hug! ;)
Alex: OMG congratulations!!! How pregnant are you? Have you tried those new sal-sard-tines? they're saltines that come in sardine flavor, hmm...
Erin: I'm happy to help with anything you need even BEFORE the little kid comes around. This might include: nursery decorations, talking and shopping for adorable small clothes (or big fancy dresses). I want to make sure you know I'm available w/o trying to usurp Cami's God-given role as sister. Oh, and I stole another tampon.
Karen: I know you're sick. Not much to be done there. You'll feel better soon. Eat something every two hours. Good suggestions: Applesauce, Gingerale, crackers, toast, bananas, peaches, cantaloupe, watermelon, granola bars, scrambled eggs with no salt. I'm not sure why the first two are capitalized. I guess they are special.
Sarah: im totally fine with it, la! i will love you no matter what you do ! and im so happy for you. ur going to b one of the greatest moms ever and u dont deserve to be sick!
The sick. August 19 - the rest of my life (or so it seems) (6+ weeks)
It’s happening. I woke the same as any other day, except my stomach was churning and I felt as though I was hosting a private Norovirus party. That was August 19. It has been six weeks, and the party just keeps rocking on. There have been a few short hours of relief (or maybe just distraction), but nausea has been my constant companion since that fateful morning before meeting Cami and Darin’s family at the beach on the North Shore.
This is how my day usually goes:
Variation 1: Get up, eat yogurt, wash my hair. Get out of the shower, puke, finish showering, comb my hair, puke. Go to school. Feel nauseated for the rest of the day. Eat rice and green beans for lunch, and dry toast for dinner. Go to bed feeling awful.
Variation 2: Get up, eat yogurt, shower, get dressed, puke, get in the car to go to work, puke (usually as we’re riding in stop and go traffic over the bridge leading to I-93). Feel nauseated all day, eat pasta and green beans for lunch, a grilled cheese for dinner. Go to bed feeling awful.
Sometimes I end the day in tears… I’m exhausted and losing weight because I am not getting enough nutrients, but I don’t know how to force myself to eat things when the very thought of them induces my gag reflex and sends me running for the nearest restroom.
This is how my day usually goes:
Variation 1: Get up, eat yogurt, wash my hair. Get out of the shower, puke, finish showering, comb my hair, puke. Go to school. Feel nauseated for the rest of the day. Eat rice and green beans for lunch, and dry toast for dinner. Go to bed feeling awful.
Variation 2: Get up, eat yogurt, shower, get dressed, puke, get in the car to go to work, puke (usually as we’re riding in stop and go traffic over the bridge leading to I-93). Feel nauseated all day, eat pasta and green beans for lunch, a grilled cheese for dinner. Go to bed feeling awful.
Sometimes I end the day in tears… I’m exhausted and losing weight because I am not getting enough nutrients, but I don’t know how to force myself to eat things when the very thought of them induces my gag reflex and sends me running for the nearest restroom.
August 4th (4 weeks): Breaking the news... made easy
Yesterday I told Cami I was pregnant. Here is an excerpt of our conversation:
camijones: I've sort of suspected as much (in a sisterly vibe sort of way)
how are you feeling?
me: I thought you probably had suspected as much, because you have sisterly vibes like that
I feel fine - if I am pregnantl, it's maybe like 4 weeks along… I did have some fainting spells while hiking the other day
camijones: you know, they have pretty cheap scientific experiments to confirm such things.
me: yes, but that's the problem
camijones: I demand you come to my house right now and take one.
me: Oh, I've taken about 5, and there is a line in the test window, but it's kind of faint
whatever does it mean?
camijones: not just the control line?
me: right
the control is nice and dark
camijones: I guess you must be kind of pregnant.
me: well, it seems like a boolean operation
camijones: maybe like a back to the future baby
have you been mucking around in a time traveling delorian? j/k.
Well, I'm really excited for you.
me: thank so for saying that, even if you only half mean it
but do you think I am?
camijones: Actually, I really am so excited
yes
me: a playmate for Ivy!
camijones: right!
and me!
me: hee hee
I'm really excited but trying not to get my hopes up
and also it turns out that I'm not okay with having a bastard baby afterall, so I'm thinking of throwing together a shotgun wedding
camijones: I would so plan it for you.
Although bastards are cute in their own little ways.
me: what are the chances that you could get to Utah for a few days in September?
camijones: Pretty good.
me: really?
I would even help pay for a ticket
camijones: I would come for your wedding any time you wanted to have it.
me: or four
camijones: oh brother.
I'm crying because I'm so happy.
me: I'm crying because I'm so relieved that you're happy
camijones: I know you've wanted a wee thing for so long now.
me: yes, quite a very, very, very long time
it means quite a lot to me
to maybe get one
but do you think I should tell mom before or after the baby comes?
We went to dinner tonight, and Cami brought our first baby present – an adorable pair of green crocs in a baby size. It was a lot of fun to talk to her about pregnancy and babies and such, and it has been a huge relief to have familial support. Cami is a star, and that’s why I deem her one of my favorite people and best friends ever.
camijones: I've sort of suspected as much (in a sisterly vibe sort of way)
how are you feeling?
me: I thought you probably had suspected as much, because you have sisterly vibes like that
I feel fine - if I am pregnantl, it's maybe like 4 weeks along… I did have some fainting spells while hiking the other day
camijones: you know, they have pretty cheap scientific experiments to confirm such things.
me: yes, but that's the problem
camijones: I demand you come to my house right now and take one.
me: Oh, I've taken about 5, and there is a line in the test window, but it's kind of faint
whatever does it mean?
camijones: not just the control line?
me: right
the control is nice and dark
camijones: I guess you must be kind of pregnant.
me: well, it seems like a boolean operation
camijones: maybe like a back to the future baby
have you been mucking around in a time traveling delorian? j/k.
Well, I'm really excited for you.
me: thank so for saying that, even if you only half mean it
but do you think I am?
camijones: Actually, I really am so excited
yes
me: a playmate for Ivy!
camijones: right!
and me!
me: hee hee
I'm really excited but trying not to get my hopes up
and also it turns out that I'm not okay with having a bastard baby afterall, so I'm thinking of throwing together a shotgun wedding
camijones: I would so plan it for you.
Although bastards are cute in their own little ways.
me: what are the chances that you could get to Utah for a few days in September?
camijones: Pretty good.
me: really?
I would even help pay for a ticket
camijones: I would come for your wedding any time you wanted to have it.
me: or four
camijones: oh brother.
I'm crying because I'm so happy.
me: I'm crying because I'm so relieved that you're happy
camijones: I know you've wanted a wee thing for so long now.
me: yes, quite a very, very, very long time
it means quite a lot to me
to maybe get one
but do you think I should tell mom before or after the baby comes?
We went to dinner tonight, and Cami brought our first baby present – an adorable pair of green crocs in a baby size. It was a lot of fun to talk to her about pregnancy and babies and such, and it has been a huge relief to have familial support. Cami is a star, and that’s why I deem her one of my favorite people and best friends ever.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Ahem...
Dear Uterus,
What's your damage? Why must you wait until I'm lying in bed to act up?
I need sleep.
Thanks,
L
What's your damage? Why must you wait until I'm lying in bed to act up?
I need sleep.
Thanks,
L
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Me, myself with my nose pressed up against love's glass...
I'm almost 32, and a Mormon, which means that most of my friends were married with children a decade ago. They have houses, rose bushes, dogs, blogs, pickett fences... homes full of laughter and diapers and crayons. Me... I have three bikes, two pairs of skis, a beat-up car that gets fantastic gas milage, a 75-gallon capacity backpack, and trekking poles.
My friends are settled... I am always on the go. I have greatly enjoyed the opportunities I've had as a single woman - to teach English in Asia, to go skinny-dipping in remote mountain areas with friends on a whim - but it has sometimes seemed that, despite my nomadic lifestyle, I am the one who is never, really, going anywhere. I have been in several serious relationships, have tried - for years at a time - to will myself to feel whatever it was - that magic, elusive element that made people want to, no, that made people capable of committing to spend their life with another person. I have driven myself mad trying, and the loneliness has been paralyzing at times. Oh, how I have longed for that house of poop and dumped-out cereal boxes...
And then I met Tim, and I finally (finally) understand what, "You'll just know" means. I know.
Last Friday night, I took a pregnancy test because I was feeling a bit off kilter. And there it was... the faintest line that showed up after a minute. Really, the faintest line, that I had to hold at just the right angle to see what I wasn't sure was even there. I told myself I was just seeing things, and I went to bed.
Saturday I went hiking. After about a half hour, I had to stop and sit down. My pulse was too rapid to count, and I could not only feel it, I could hear it. When I sat down, I had a series of fainting spells. That evening I took another test - another barely perceptible line. I showed it to Tim, who declared me a lunatic.
The next morning I took another test - it was still faint, but definitely a line. Monday I went to the health clinic and my doctor did a urine test and said I definitely wasn't pregnant. So I took two more home tests, and they both said pregnant. I went back to the clinic for a serum test and... I have a 9-celled clump of cells growing in my uterus!
The circumstances are not ideal, I know this. My family will likely be embarrassed, upset and disappointed that I'm not married yet, but I guess we - they and I - are getting used to my seeming inabilty to do things the prescribed way and hopefully they will be supportive despite our different approaches to life. I will do the best I can from here, and we'll get through this.
And I'm happy. Happier than I've ever been. Ever.
I have cramps, I'm tired. Tired. Tired. And did I mention the cramps? And I haven't stopped crying for 3 days because I'm so happy.
My friends are settled... I am always on the go. I have greatly enjoyed the opportunities I've had as a single woman - to teach English in Asia, to go skinny-dipping in remote mountain areas with friends on a whim - but it has sometimes seemed that, despite my nomadic lifestyle, I am the one who is never, really, going anywhere. I have been in several serious relationships, have tried - for years at a time - to will myself to feel whatever it was - that magic, elusive element that made people want to, no, that made people capable of committing to spend their life with another person. I have driven myself mad trying, and the loneliness has been paralyzing at times. Oh, how I have longed for that house of poop and dumped-out cereal boxes...
And then I met Tim, and I finally (finally) understand what, "You'll just know" means. I know.
Last Friday night, I took a pregnancy test because I was feeling a bit off kilter. And there it was... the faintest line that showed up after a minute. Really, the faintest line, that I had to hold at just the right angle to see what I wasn't sure was even there. I told myself I was just seeing things, and I went to bed.
Saturday I went hiking. After about a half hour, I had to stop and sit down. My pulse was too rapid to count, and I could not only feel it, I could hear it. When I sat down, I had a series of fainting spells. That evening I took another test - another barely perceptible line. I showed it to Tim, who declared me a lunatic.
The next morning I took another test - it was still faint, but definitely a line. Monday I went to the health clinic and my doctor did a urine test and said I definitely wasn't pregnant. So I took two more home tests, and they both said pregnant. I went back to the clinic for a serum test and... I have a 9-celled clump of cells growing in my uterus!
The circumstances are not ideal, I know this. My family will likely be embarrassed, upset and disappointed that I'm not married yet, but I guess we - they and I - are getting used to my seeming inabilty to do things the prescribed way and hopefully they will be supportive despite our different approaches to life. I will do the best I can from here, and we'll get through this.
And I'm happy. Happier than I've ever been. Ever.
I have cramps, I'm tired. Tired. Tired. And did I mention the cramps? And I haven't stopped crying for 3 days because I'm so happy.
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